Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
