my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
