Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
