Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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