and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this just has baby written all over it
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
