lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
