Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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