Swine flu. Run for my life!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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