that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
