I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
