what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
