stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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