Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
