im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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