Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's no shave November. This is our time.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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