just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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