so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
