What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
