where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i dont even know how to be here
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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