I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The police scanner is talking about you again....
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
