Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
