She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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