Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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