Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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