If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
