Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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