Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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