My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
