Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
