We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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