I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
