# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
