Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
