If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
