Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
