that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
