Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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