loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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