Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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