it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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