Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I love having hate sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
