Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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