Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
