i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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