I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
