I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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