Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
