I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
