maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
