it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
