I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
