I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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