Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
