Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you traded sex for a burrito?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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