you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
