shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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