A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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